I’ve had the wordpress window opened all morning, trying to write some meaningful thoughts. I feel like everything has been said or done on the internet. Maybe this is a sign that I need to take a break from blogging for a little while.  As a writer, I feel like if you don’t have something constructive or creative to post about, you shouldn’t post. I feel like there are enough low-quality blogs out there, so I don’t want to contribute to that. Posting about issues with a site or posting about things on the internet is a form of a low-quality blog. One of the things I’ve always taken pride in is my ability to write a quality blog and keep people entertained, even if it is only for a few minutes every day or even if it is just less than ten people.

With this, I’m thinking about taking a break from blogging. After eight years of putting my thoughts out there for the world to read, I feel like I’ve done it all. Nothing interesting is happening to me, other than being critically ill, and there’s nothing that I really want to put on the internet. If you need to contact me, my AIM is nuclearwintersky. Although I’m not really on AIM a lot these days, either. I guess the internet was something fun when I was 19-26 and now it’s just something that’s a bit of a bother. When posting becomes a chore, it’s not something I want to do. Maybe I just need one blog and not two.

I was criticised this past week by what I can only assume was a well-meaning friend. They asked me why it was taking me so long to get this domain back on its feet. It was off its feet? I did not know that. This is the same friend who offered to help me make my archives from 2001-2003 readable on the newer browsers. Up until then, they weren’t. Although this person could read the archives just fine when I was publishing them. I don’t know why there’s such a push for me to get these archives back online. I can’t read them, the HTML is just that bad. Need I add this is the same person who was going to “help me” a while back? I’ve noticed a pattern with people. They all want me to do all these things I don’t know how to do, and then they criticise me when I can’t do them. Some people even claim I “won’t”. Trust me, if I could, I would, if for no other reason then to shut these people up.

The next chain of events happened somewhere else. A “nurse” told me that I should not be giving out “misinformation” because apparently, I haven’t passed boards. Really? I got my RN in 2003. Just because I had in my profile that I was back in college doesn’t mean that I haven’t passed boards. When I explained to her that I was majoring in Biomedicine, and I had gone back to school, she apologised profoundly and tried to be my friend. Huh. Uh-uh. I don’t really befriend people online because it’s too easy to be who you want on there and have hidden agendas. In the mean time, I wouldn’t have wanted to be her friend in real life. Her attitude that “nursing students are retarded” is one of the reasons I left nursing and pursued a career in forensics. Don’t get me wrong, many nurses are kind, funny and good. Then there are the others who think they know everything about everyone and every situation. Those nurses are dangerous. Those are the nurses who make fatal mistakes in medicine. Usually, they have the lowest ranking degree, and they want to feel important, so they slat their authority and community college degree in the faces of everyone they assume have “lower intelligence” than them.

I have to get to the store and pick up some things, then be back before 7pm. I really don’t have anything to say that hasn’t been said 1000 over again. I guess my life is just that boring.

I seen one of my November entries was getting multiple hits, and I was afraid it was going to be the next target for the spammers haunting my site, so I installed Comment Timeout. After 30 days, no one can comment on my entries. I also installed Three Strikes. I’m just that sick of the spammers around here. Every time I would log into my site I’d see that I had comments, and I’d be all excited that real people cared about what I had to say, only to see that it was just spam for Viagra or something equally stupid.

When I was in the hospital last month, this site accumulated 74+ pieces of spam. I think it was all in my (now defunct) Guest Book, but it’s the idea that I can’t even be away from my site for more than 24 hours without the spam building up. I’d rather get the hits for people who actually want to read what I have to say than some spammer coming here trying to sell something.

I just deleted my Guestbook here. It was being hit by spam, about four a day, ever since I opened it. It’s sad that I cannot even have a guest book on my own site anymore without some spammers coming in and filling it up with nonsense. Before they took it over, I deleted the Guestbook off of Nuclear•Winter too.

Speaking of sites, I registered JamieVaugh.com. I told Dennis about it after I registered it until 2010. He said no more domains. I thought he was just being controlling, and then I looked at my account. I currently have twenty three domains registered. No, they weren’t all mine. Over the years, people have asked me to register domains for them, and for some reason, I’ve done it. Most of those people I don’t even talk to anymore. It’s sad we were once friends, so close that I bought them domains and we commented on each other’s blogs all the time, and now I don’t even know if they’re alive anymore. So I struck a deal with Dennis. I would cancel, rent out, or sell the majority of the domains in my account.

Canceling the domains just means that they will not renew in 2009. A few of them are set to renew this year, and I’m going to put a stop to that now. I don’t know what I was thinking when I registered those sites. I won’t do that again. Live and learn.

I think I’m having the worst case of anxiety in the world.  I have to eat dinner with Dennis’ boss tonight to try and make some kind of an impression on him. I don’t know why I have to win the man over. I’ll be just as happy if I don’t have to go to that press release tomorrow. But Dennis wants me there. Dennis said if I impress the higher ups, we won’t have to worry about me not being there. I like being supportive of him, but I just don’t understand why I have to impress someone who, essentially, doesn’t like me, and never will.

The dinner is at 5pm, but I don’t have anything to wear. I’m getting over a sore throat and I’m at the snot and sniffles stage of it. While I’ve been taking a bath every single night, and washing my hair, I feel like I’m less than presentable. I’m irratiable because I’m on pelvic rest and I will be until July 9th when I see my doctor again. Who knew that would really piss a person off?

I’ll do this for Dennis. Because I love him and respect his wishes. I just wish he wouldn’t expect so much out of me.

I deleted some of my pages on here. I know I said I was never going to pay anymore money to Flickr, and I’m not. I just want to have all of my stuff on my site. I don’t trust other applications or places. Weird, aren’t I?

I need to figure out what to do with my sites. I have what seems like so many, yet I don’t have any motivation to do anything with them. I always wanted just a personal site, but I feel like I’ve done that already.

In other news, I was browsing around some pages earlier, and I seen where there are many people out there that want MacBooks or MacBook Pros. I have a MacBook Pro. Unfortunately, I’m afraid to use it because I don’t have an extended warranty on it. Not that those are any good. I bought one for my iBook and it was supposed to cover accidental damage. Some joke ran a red light, I slammed on the breaks and my iBook hit the dash and smashed. It cost me $800 to get it repaired. The warranty didn’t cover anything. I don’t know what people are looking for in their laptops, but I want to say that I don’t think the MacBook Air is really a good buy. You can’t save anything off of it. It reminds me of my first strawberry iMac.

To me, that would be more trouble than the computer is worth. Tracking down a drive. No start up disk if something goes wrong. But to each his own. Maybe I am privileged after all?