I was directed to Walmart’s free sampling site, by people who assumed that you got the little tin from that sample site, since it’s pictured in the offer:

Kotex offers a similar sample on their site.

Today, my samples came in. Both samples from both places, in nearly identical boxes, containing almost identical items.

In the sample from Kotex, I received two regular tampons, one pad, one liner, a booklet advertising the product, a card warning about TSS and tampon use, and a coupon at the end of the booklet. No free tin, but that was ok. Kotex didn’t promise me one on their offer.

The same from Walmart, I received ONE regular tampon, one pad, one liner, a booklet advertising the product, a card warning about TSS and tampon use, and a coupon at the end of the booklet. No free tin. WTF? The ad leads people think that they will be getting a free tin of tampons! And Walmart sent one less tampon in their free sample.

The samples are still pretty bold and bright and pretty. If I still had periods, I’d probably be one of the many women I have encountered on the web who are actually excited about getting their period just to try these out.

This was what I was really expecting:

See that? I had to join a free stuff auction site and get those. I won’t link to the site because it’s become a drama hole where people like to jump the asses of the newbies who haven’t been to a post office in several months, but that is where I found those. Yes, I opened and toyed around with some of the Super tampons because I was curious as to how they worked. I’ve saw the auctions for liners and stuff in different coloured tins. I’d love to get the complete set, including a pink and green tin. That way I could keep gum and candy in the tins and not have my husband or Matt come along and try to steal my mints and gum. *evil grin*

The person I can’t seem to forgive is myself.

Not because of the accident, but because I am out of creativity, and my blogs are coming to a fast head. I can’t decide whether I want to keep them or let the domains expire. I cannot forgive myself because I have not kept a promise I made to myself last year. I cannot forgive myself for giving up on my eighteen-year-old dream of being a famous writer some day. I cannot forgive myself because people tend to not like me. I cannot forgive myself because I have been mean to people in comments lately. I don’t mean to be mean, the words just flow that way, and they are mean spirited. I certainly don’t mean to be that way. I don’t mean to offend people. Some of them have exploded in single-sided flame wars because I refuse to play back, but I am the one who enticed these people, and it’s not right. I doubt that I would be blogged, commented and posted about had I not left an ill-thought comment. I have gone back and apologised to those people, told them I forgive them for lashing out at me. That has caused these people to post what a “wimp” I am. Ok. Whatever. I’m done. I won’t play the game. I won’t post link backs to them with snarky, sarcastic comments. I forgive them for calling me a whore and a slut. I forgive them for taking my pictures from my page and writing “whore” and “slut” on them to display on their blogs and as icons on forums. I forgive them for taking my apology and twisting it into something that it wasn’t meant to be.

I can forgive all of that.

But I cannot forgive myself.

Where did it all go wrong?

If you read my other blog, I was in a near-fatal car accident about nine days ago. I’m physically fine now, but I have no way to get anywhere. I get to sit in the house all day long with four unruly kids who want to go to the park, or shopping or anywhere but sitting inside all day long. Hell, I’d like to get out for a few minutes! But short of walking down our sandy, grainy, hill-infested roads, which are a just a shitload of scrapped and dislocated knees waiting to happen, there’s not much we can do. Besides, going for rides in the car is one of my boys favourite things to do. They get that from me. Besides the risk of mommy falling down and hurting her knees, there’s always the fact that mommy can’t walk very far without her left leg going completely numb.

It’s not fair to the kids, but what can I do? My body is failing me, and my doctor doesn’t take me seriously.

This month has not been good, financially. I deserve a little reward, right? I was good all month long. I went to school. I didn’t charge anything. I walked that line. So…. Other than a layout, what else could I reward myself with?